Secret Message Intercept-Two

PoopTeen Letter 2

More information is coming in to PoopTeen HQ all the time. We now have a better idea as to what the Evil Doer’s final plans are. It seems as though “Unclle” is a key figure. This is clearly an attempt t throw PoopTeen and the Gang of Aces off. The writer of this threat may be referring to “The Man from U.N.C.L.E.”. This means that the plot is deeper and more terrible than could have been imagined.

It is well known that that Josef Stalin and other Evil Doers have long been called “Uncle”. As of now the best thing we have to go on is what we reported last which is that Jang Sung-taek is alive and playing a very important role in this plot to destroy humanity.

Jang_Sung-taek

Mini-MonkeyTeen as the Gang of Aces lead intelligence officer has been gathering vital details about the plot. He has been bringing back confirmation that indeed there are plans afoot to launch the miniaturized nuclear sea turtles. However, there is a twist. It seems that Josef Stalin and Kim Jong Un have now enlisted their old pal Ho Chi Minh to aid them in their diabolical plan.

EpclLe2

What is worse is that “Unce Ho” is the “Unclle” named in the blueprint of evil. The “Ginger” mentioned in the blueprint of evil is none other than the red haired child seen in this photograph with her head on Ho’s shoulder. It is widely known that Ho in fact would groom his minion women through the repeated playing of Paul Anka’s “Put Your Head On My Shoulder“.

PoopTeen and The Gang of Aces are seeking those at the center of this latest plot. The one person that is still a mystery is “Rosie”. Is Rosie the conspirator with the others? It could be that Mega-Bitch Rosie O’Donnell has in fact been turned from a simple asshole/cunt to full blown partner in evil?

ROD

Either way the “Rosie” in the blueprint of evil is demanding that Ginger pick her or a hotel. Between Rosie O’Donnell and the Ryugyong Hotel. PoopTeen will take the Ryugyong any day.

As the plot develops PoopTeen will be sure to pass along any vital information. Until then please remember that your best protection from Evil Doers is “Duck and Cover“.

 

Secret Message Intercept-One

PoopTeen Letter 1

This came to the attention of PoopTeen and The Gang of Aces. As of now we are working around the clock to verify the origin of such a cryptic plan.

This “Blueprint of Evil” is clearly a plan for complete destruction of the world.

Here is what we know…

1: “Hotel”-The plan clearly centers around a hotel. But which one? This is critical information. Once the Gang of Aces can learn exactly which hotel is being referred to we will be on the Evil Doer’s tail. As of now there is only one hotel that seems to be most likely–The Ryugyong Hotel. We know that this is the epicenter of Kim Jong Un’s nuclear turtle research lab. We are sure that Suk-Yu Suk the North Korean equivalent of Josef Mengele is who this “Blueprint of Evil” is meant for.

2: “Shower”-The plan calls for showers. As we know Kim Jong Un has made his concubines perform what is called “The Eternal Rain for our Eternal Leader“. This must be the shower that is being referred to in the letter. Is Suk-Yu Suk the mastermind of the Eternal Rain?

kim with the ladies

3: “Sleep there until 9am“-Clearly the most cryptic part of the “Blueprint of Evil” Sleep where? The Ryugyong Hotel? Perhaps the Evil Doer understands that by sleeping where they plan on unleashing their carnage they would better blend in.

More baffling is the fact that the author says “No argument”. Does this mean that the person tasked with carrying out this gruesome task is being coerced? Evil Doers have been known to hypnotize many in to doing their bidding. You could say “they don’t Mess around.”

Wolf-Messing1

Could the “noise” discussed be the noise made by band Girl Trouble and  Bon Von Wheelie? Gang of Aces agent Mini-MonkeyTeen has informed PoopTeen HQ that Evil Doers have tried to use bats in the past and that now they are trying to communicate with bats via ultrasonic devices.

 

Finally, who is “Manuel O’Rosa”? Who could this Mexican/Irishman be? Based on our latest intelligence PoopTeen HQ thinks that this is none other than Jang Sung-taek. There is credible evidence that in fact he is alive and working very closely with Josef Stalin at the behest of Kim Jong Un. It is very common for Evil Doers to fake deaths of upper echelon agents.

Jang_Sung-taek

As PoopTeen and The Gang of Aces work hard to investigate this credible threat-One thing is certain. Josef Stlain and Kim Jong Un are clearly out to take over the free world and destroy all the cute kittens that we have come to love.

PoopTeen is on the case and the world will be safe.

Mini-MonkeyTeen Tells All

mini-monkeyteen-poopteen

Mini-MonkeyTeen has returned and he has told PoopTeen and The Gang of Aces some disturbing news.  It appears that the Evil Doer Josef Stalin is up to his nogoodnik ways again.  This time Stalin has been trying to capitalize on PoopTeen’s good relations with Canada and its noble mascot the Beaver.

The Beaver is not only noble and has a soft pelt but is a fan of goodness over evil. Except when they are chopping trees of course.  All of this came to a head when it was discovered that The Beaver has since changed its name.

PoopTeen was so disturbed by the news.  That he picked up the Canadian-Bacon phone direct to the commissioner of the RCMP and organized a proper defense.  For The Beaver to die would be an international disaster.

A battle plan was formed and it was decided that the best thing to do would be to deputize a beaver like no other to attack Stalin and chew off his face in Chimply style.

josef_stalin

Stalin was so disturbed at the thought of being ravaged by a beaver that he ran off into the night tripping on stumps and almost drowning as he swam the dam that we expect he won’t be seen in quite some time.  The Noble Beaver said he did hear Stalin curse “I will get you next time PoopTeen!!”

PoopTeen Travels the Corridors of Time

John Titor isn’t the only one that knows the secrets of time travel.  Time travel is all around us and is easy to do.  It is best left to other places to discuss the in’s and out’s.
I fell into a time warp and woke up in 1985.  It was a blast.  Drinking “Old Coke”, saying things like “wicked”.  What more do you need??  Here is who became my Gang of Aces while on my journey.

Stacey is on the far left with the bottle of Bud.  Jane is the blonde(she is a great kisser).  Tracy is in the back.  She is kind of quiet but warms up quickly and gets crazy.  Plus, she hiccups after she drinks vodka.  Teddy is the guy in the back row second from the right.  He is chasing Stacey.  Todd is in the skinny white tie.  I told him he looked like a dork but he insisted it was hip.  Joan is wearing Jack-O’s hat.  Jack-O is pretending to be passed out wearing sun glasses.
Dunno what was trying to be done by adding a fourth to the classic monkey three piece.

He wouldn’t listen when I shared the fact that Eddie Van Halen is now irrelevant.
This is worth it for the babes and Mike’s knee pads.
Yikes.  Those pleats, socks and shoes look dangerous.
It was a good trip while it lasted.