Urban Potbelly. Pigs??


To all the men that wear their little pot bellys as though they are some sort of 21st century urban Budha.

You are not Kim Jong Il. If you are Kim Jong Il please read on you Evil-Doer.

While centuries ago fat was considered regal, beautiful, and affluent among other sought after traits. Today it is considered to be a result of beer, lack of exercise, and general unhealthiness. Traits that one shouldn’t exactly pursue.

So. Urbane-Budha. If you want to keep your ‘man bump’ please don’t wear tight fitting shirts, don’t walk looking like your gut is pulling you down the sidewalk either

Here are a few tips.

1) Buy a MuuMuu and move to the South Pacific where you would be instantly skinny.

2) Buy a MuuMuu and claim it is a fashion statement you picked up from a Bravo reality show.

Mostly just walk more, drink less and cut the gut.

Safety First

safe food

This came across the desk here at PoopTeen HQ when one of the Gang of Aces found a sheet of paper on the street.  Here it is verbatim.

Please follow these guidelines regarding food handling whenever dealing with food in client apartments.  Remember, your good modeling will go a long way in teaching food handling skills.


1) Always cover food in the refrigerator with foil, plastic wrap or a plastic bag.

2) Items in cupboards should be rotated and checked monthly for bugs and spoilage.  Check cupboards when meal planning and before every shopping trip.

3) Always roll down inner wrapper of cereal/cracker boxes and close top.

4) Mark the date on meats when they are put in the refrigerator from the freezer.  Marking dates on leftovers is helpful also.


1) Always wash hands with soap before working in kitchen.

2) Always use trivets when serving hot dishes on wooden tables.

3) Use appropriate serving utensils (not fingers) when dishing up food.

4) Model safe and sanitary food preparation; i.e don’t lick spoons that you are cooking with, turn off burners on stove and oven when done, always use potholders.  Clean counters and cutting boards as you work.

5) Finally, let clients participate as much as possible in preparation of their meals, giving assistance only when truly needed.


1) Always wash hands before preparing or eating food and after using toilet.

2) Kitchen area should be throughly cleaned during and after food preparation, so crumbs or spoiled food won’t spoil and attract insects and disease.  Clean cutting boards especially well with soapy water.

3) Wipe the table after eating.

4) Vacuum crumbs underneath the table.

5) Make sure appliances are cleaned during kitchen cleanup; i.e. electric can opener, coffee maker, toaster, microwave (inside and out), stove, refrigerator.

Celeb Shout Out–Adrien Brody



Look bro.  We gotta get on the level here.  I know you have that goofy look thing going that a lot of women swoon over.  But, those ladies are just crazy.  Adding growth hormone to your nose isn’t going to add to your entourage at this point.

And that whole overly sensitive thing that drips off you.  Yuck.  Always playing the part of the nice guy or the victim.  Is that your agent making those calls or you??

And what’s up with all your photos??  Way way to moody.  You gotta lighten those up man.

Here is what you need to do.  You need a persona change like Hugh Grant.

Go out and get yourself a clown suit, a scary one and start chasing kids around the park with a shovel.  Then just sit on the ground and start rocking back and forth.  That gets them every time.

Just some advice…Ya know.

PS–Loose the pleated pants.  No one looks good in pleats.